no, you do not look like a whale

I don't have mirrors in my studio for a reason.  I don't want you to see or care how you look in a pose.  I want you to feel the pose.  

A few weeks ago I went to dinner and a movie with the girls (Hunger Games, loved the books, loved the movie).  As we were sitting and chatting, one of the ladies, someone I've only met twice, leaned over and asked, "So, do you ever look at your students and think wow, you totally look like a whale in down dog?"

Crickets.

She then tried to encourage me to tell the truth, it's just us, you've had a glass of wine.

Crickets.

Truth be told, I was offended to the core.  This person I didn't even know was making an awfully harsh judgement on my character.  

Do I think my students look like whales in downward dog?  No fucking way.  If by chance a whale came into my class, I don't think it would look like a whale in downward dog.  I'd be too busy trying to find a way to get a whale into the pose rather than thinking either a) there's a WHALE in my class or b) this whale literally looks like a whale in downward dog.  

For me, downward dog is the pose where I can look out and see all the little body quirks.  Do I think so and so needs to lay off the cupcakes?  No.  I think so and so has something really weird going on with her shoulder, so I'll try all sorts of verbal cues to help her out, help her find some space in downward dog.  Then I'll make a mental note of the quirk I see in that shoulder and watch the rest of her totally not whale resembling practice and see what else is going on.  Then after class in my yoga teacher stalker style, I will write down everything about that student that I noticed.  And I'll take a couple of days to think of things for her to try.  And, then the next time I see her in class, I will have the whole class do what I planned out for her.  And then I'll take more notes.  

And, I'll never call a student out individually in front of the class.

And, I never ever think any of you look like whales in downward dog.

Because we are all struggling.  Because people come to my class to feel better.  To know that their friendly yoga teacher stalker is not judging their practice because it isn't her place to.

Yoga can be such a powerful tool in getting to know yourself and then accepting that being.  Apparently, I'm not the only one who feels that way.  Anna of Curvy Yoga just released an ebook called Curvy Voices.  It is a collection of essays on this very topic.  I am thrilled to be a part of this book.  And, I'm positive that the other contributors to this collection have never looked at a student and thought they looked like a whale in downward dog.

The book is free.  Download it now and curl up with it this weekend!

diy studio art

I am totally in love with the little studio, yet I often wish I had a few bucks to cozy it up.  I don't want much clutter, cause really the space is perfect how it is.  

I have one piece of DIY art on the little ledge at the front of the studio.  I made it in illustrator, printed it out on nice paper at Office Depot and threw it into a white frame from Ben Franklin.

• printing: 49 cents
• frame: $5
• time: about 20 minutes messing around in illustrator

Here is the finished product.  Photo by Jessi Bennion.

Yesterday I whipped up another piece of DIY "art".  The inspiration came from this post which I, of course, found on Pinterest.

Source: apartmenttherapy.com via Barbara on Pinterest

I bought a canvas at Ben Franklin and a can of spray paint.  I then drew an OM symbol and cut it out as a stencil.  I glued that to the canvas and went to work with the spray paint. Voila! 

This little corner of the studio is quite dark, so I thought some art/light would be nice.  However, my canvas was too small for the massive string of white lights that I had.  Plus, there would have been a huge light "tail" and the outlet is right behind the super powerful and uncontrollable radiator...so I had to improvise.  

I looked for all sorts of options at Lowes.  There are some neat LED lights that serve as under cabinet lights that are really thin.  But, they still had the "tail".  I found some battery operated LED night lights.  I hung three of them to the wall and hung the canvas over them.  I can easily turn them on and off.  They don't provide a lot of light, but there is a nice glow.

I'm pleased with how it turned out.  I did make a big mistake though...my spray adhesive was out.  I was too lazy to walk two blocks to get some more, so I taped my stencil down with masking tape.  The overall effect is neat, it isn't stark white but a little smudgy looking.  However, the tape marks are stark white and glaringly obvious.  I always have big crafty ideas and rarely have the patience to pull them off!

This piece was a bit more of an investment and I bet I could have found something on Etsy or in a thrift shop for less.

• canvas: $32
• paint: $8
• lights: $8
• batteries: $10
• time: 10 minutes for the stencil, 5 minutes painting, 30 minutes looking for lights

sequencing

I got a really great question today about sequencing.  It wasn't a blatant question about sequencing, but more about the way certain practices make you feel.

Good sequencing is an art.  I love this article from Charlotte at Hugger Mugger.  In a well sequenced practice your body will be singing and there should be a certain "residue", something that remains from your practice that gives you a calm energy or that "yoga glow".  

Bad sequencing will have your nervous system doing spirals, scattered, unfocussed energy.

Teacher trainings talk about sequencing, pose and counterpose, how to build up to and down from a peak pose...but I really don't think good sequencing can be taught.  It is something you learn how to develop from hundreds and hundreds of your own practices and trial and error.  

I never, ever have students do a pose just because we haven't done it in a while.  I am never just throwing poses into a hat and drawing them out:  tada!  totally wasted nervous system!  

Every little movement we do, be it a shoulder roll or a floating of toes has a reason.  There is a reason for that small movement in the sequence.  It might help you open somewhere that needs to be open for the next pose.  It might be to let go of something that you don't even realize you are holding onto.  

I take copious notes of my yoga classes.  What we did that day.  Who is where.  Why a pose didn't work for someone or why a pose worked brilliantly for someone.  Yes, I am your friendly yoga teacher STALKER.  This is me doing my job.  I want you to feel great after a class.  I never want you to feel beat up, beat down, and discouraged.  I have been to those classes.  The bad sequencing.

There will always be a certain type of yoga that will appeal to you.  And, we're lucky there are so many variations so we can find that perfect fit and perfect teacher for us.  That isn't what I'm trying to explain here.  I'm trying to explain sequencing or a class that just makes you feel...tired, drained, wound up, spun out.

For example, remeber back in February when I took that aerial yoga class?  Cool class.  Fun concept.  Horrible, horrible sequencing.  Plus the floating in the air, the going upside down, working to headstand out of a swing with no real indication where we were headed...and savasana in the air.  Which (savasana in the air) some might find divine.  I felt like I was gonna throw up.  No grounding.  Seriously, ask Anna what I was like when I knocked on her door for lunch right after class:

hi anna omigod i just got back fromaerialyoga and itwassoooamazing i was hanging upsidedown and then we did headstandsandtonsofcoreworkandiwassweatingandmymatwassoslipperyandtherewasthisguywithabrokencollarbone (gulp for air) andireally needtoeatsomethingoriamjustgonnafloatawayandireallywonderificouldpossibleytalkanyfaster?

It was like taking 50 shots of espresso and then standing on my head and then being spun around blindfolded.  That is bad sequencing.

So, notice how you feel after your next class.  How is your nervous system?  How does your body feel? If you feel frazzled take note.  If you feel divine take note.  If you constantly feel frazzled after a class, talk to your teacher.  And, hey, maybe try a different class.  

yoga for survivors

I mentioned a big project awhile back.  I will be working with the St. Peter's Cancer Support Partnership and offering a Yoga For Survivors class free of charge.

This represents a huge step for me as a teacher.  I had gotten to a place where I was relatively comfortable in what and how I taught, and now, this class is a whole new ballgame and completely out of that comfort zone.  I essentially get to be a beginner again.

I've been overwhelmed by support from the hospital admistrator of the program and the ladies who just want some yoga!  And, I'm so grateful for the support of great teachers: Cora Wen, Anna Guest-Jelley, Kelly Baraby, and Kim Schleicher.  

It is my sincere hope that the program will expand beyond a once a week for two months offering to something permanent.

Classes start Tuesday, April 3rd at 4:00 PM!

product review: yogajellies

While at my recent teacher training, I spotted something in Cora's incredible prop rack.  I was intrigued.  By the end of the training I was sold.  And a few have made their way into my prop rack.

The amazing thing about yoga is you don't need THINGS to practice.  However, this is a thing I am happy to have in my studio.

YogaJellies

They are silicon-based disks that come in pairs.  And, they are amazing for knee support when doing a flowy practice.  I often have students use two mats or even pad their knees with a blanket.  But, when you flow the step through becomes more challenging with the added obstacle.  This is where I find YogaJellies to be so beneficial.  Plop 'em down on the mat and vinyasa away!

Photo from YogaJelliesI'm also excited to try them for my ouchy wrist people.  I have been using the wedge...but, I find that it doesn't work that great for wrists in a flow practice.  Hands slide off of it and I see people pressing the heel of the hand into the back edge which actually looks harder on the wrists.

Photo from YogaJelliesI've had them in the studio for a couple of weeks now and have shamelessly been using my students as guinea pigs.  Everyone is curious about what they are and willing to try them.  Some of the comments:

• way easier to use than a blanket
• provides more stability and support than a blanket
• wonderful to have in low lunges

There is a downside: price.  As a five dollar yoga studio, I just cannot afford them.  I wrote to YogaJellies and explained my situation.  Anita Jarowenko, the creator, took pity on me and sent a couple of blemished pairs my way.

And this is when I just love this yoga community that is so based in sharing and teaching and reaching out.  It isn't that Anita generously donated to my little studio, it is how she did it: with a three page letter.  Seriously.  When was the last time you got a letter, not a form letter, and three pages!  Knock me down with a feather.  

Anita explained how she came up with the idea.  It was her effort to encourage her husband to practice with her and be comfortable in kneeling postures and for his injured wrist.  

She shared how she personally uses the prop to make her own practice more comfortable.

And...

I'm working on a program that is similiar to a program Anita has offered.  She has given me some insight, an amazing amount of encouragement, and a sincere offer to use her as a resource.  

Isn't that what it is all about?  It certainly is to me.  Consider this my love letter to Anita, her generous spirit, and a really great product.  Babsbabble seal of approval!

YogaJellies at home in the BDY Studio (and orange!)

anatomy of the dreaded injury

About a year ago I got a little twinge in my back.  I thought no big deal.  Maybe my body is just tired.  I'll take it easy.

The pain in my back would ebb and flow.  Sometimes it would be there and sometimes I wouldn't notice a thing.  Then it hit again and was serious.  

Things kept running through my mind:  Is this what chronic back pain feels like?  Is this SI joint pain?  Will I live with this forever?  Is there something really wrong?

I find that as yogis or teachers, when we are almost hyper aware of our bodies and quirks, that we notice something tiny and totally jump to  conclusions.  (Am I the only one who does that?)  It must be something serious and I'm gonna need back surgery.

Remember this Advil and yoga commercial?  When I first saw it, I was really mad.  Yoga is supposed to make your body feel better!  You should never, ever need crap like this after a class.  But, on the nights when my back was really, really bad...I'd pop a couple of ibuprofen.  Something I very rarely if ever do.  Gasp.  

I began to feel like a hypocrite.  And then I started looking at all the movements in my daily life wondering which one is causing this back pain.  Is it carrying a bag full of books?  Is it that weird twisty movement I do when I'm reaching for something behind me?  Is it getting in and out of my truck?  

And I would end up doing what I always tell my students NOT to do...I just kept going.  My back is fucking killing me, but I need to teach this class or demo this pose.

Then for awhile it went away.  I wasn't sure why, but I had a fairly good idea.  Do you ever do that stupid thing when you have a little ache or something going on and you think, "I've gotta stretch this out"?  When really what you need to do is let it rest?  That is what I was doing.  My back hurts?  I will attack my back with every stretch and asana I can think of!!  When I quit doing this, it went away.  

I went into my recent teacher training with my back feeling great.  No problems.

Then we did this very simple, and for most people back happy, twist.  Right before going into it I thought, hmm, I haven't done this in a long time and my back feels good.  I'll give it a shot!

Oh hell.  It hurt so bad.  Throw up pain.  Tear up pain.

Luckily, I was in a room with a bunch of anatomy geeks and body workers who immediately jumped into action!  And, I was introduced to Salonpas which in that instant saved my back and the rest of the week at my training.

This whole experience gave me so much as a teacher:

• I always get frustrated with students who do something that isn't right for them.  If this is hurting you, don't do it!  That simple.  Well, sometimes it isn't that simple.  With all of my body awareness, it took me a YEAR to figure out the very simple move that was killing my back.  So, we don't often know what it is that we are doing that is hurting us.  Of course, there is the opposite.  Banging your head against a wall because it feels so good when you stop.
• I have a whole new level of understanding of pain.  Any kind of pain.  Chronic or acute.  As someone who has never really been in pain or had an injury (minus knee surgery 20 years ago), I really had no way to relate.  I'd always say yoga is "no pain, no pain" but was I really teaching that?
• Sometimes the answer can be so simple.  It wasn't my practice that was hurting me.  It was one seemingly innocuous twist.  The A to this Q: don't do that pose.

randoms

Big things are in the works over here.  Can't wait to share with you!  Hopefully within the next week.

Until then, here is some randomness:

I've been spending a lot of time with my beloved Ganesha.  There are many obstacles for me to overcome in this new endeavor, most of which are within me.  A lovely text from my teacher, "Sending shraddha to you that you know you are pushing past some boundaries of your being!"  It isn't easy, folks.  It isn't easy.

Some grapfruit Izzie.  A nice little treat as I anxiously await spring!

The BEST leftovers from Lucca's.  I always look forward to that!

Arranging a new bar cart.  Arranging things calms me!